Genuine Prada!
Oh, my God. $2 a pair in Chinatown. Can you believe it?
Hilda, that says Plada.
What?
Oh?
Well, my customers won't know the difference,
and since I'm turning my salon into a salonlboutique,
I got to sell something.
You know, I thought that two people living together
was supposed to be cheaper than one person,
but how come ever since Amanda's moved in, I'm paying twice as much?
So, don't let her eat your stuff. Put your name on it.
Oh?
I feel like all I do is work. I can barely pay my rent,
oh, which is due tomorrow. I almost forgot.
Is juice-moocher pitching in?
Well, I've been dropping hints all week.
Yeah? Have you tried, "Where's my rent, bitch?"
No.
Look, Amanda has been through some really tough times lately.
She made some bad decisions, yes,
and she got herself into a lot of debt.
But I really do think, like, she's trying to turn her life around.
You will not believe how much money I saved today.
Huge sale.
I had to get up crazy early to beat the crowds.
That's a lie. I was actually out clubbing,
and I figured what the hell? I'll just stay up all night. It was totally worth it.
Um, Amanda, buying stuff on sale, that's not exactly saving money.
- Isn't it? - No.
- Isn't it? - No, it isn't.
And if you don't mind me asking, how did you pay for all of this?
Well, I've been saving so much money since I moved in with you
that I actually paid off one credit card,
so I figured I might as well just treat myself and splurge a little.
"Where's the rent, bitch?"
Okay, okay. Amanda?
I gotta go! And, Betty, do not worry.
I'm going to catch up on my sleep at work, per yooz!
- Bye! - But...
Amanda! Amanda.
Look, the rent is due tomorrow, and I need your half.
Okay, and I would love to give it to you, I would, but I'm a little bit short.
Well, then why don't you just return all that stuff you bought?
Yeah. The thing is there's no return on sale items.
Could you just cover me this month? You know I'm good for it.
Amanda, you are not good for it!
Look, it's bad enough I have to go all the way downtown
and pay that creepy, gross landlord, who's weird and leers at me,
but if I have to give him your half,
then I'm gonna be completely wiped out.
Look, if you want to keep living with me,
then you're going to have to chip something in.
I totally get it.
Would you spot me a subway ride?
What's he doing now?
Talking to some intern, the one you made cry.
Well, I can't hide in here all day.
How much longer is he going to stand there?
- I don't know. - What is he saying?
They're too far away.
Well, read their lips.
Hang on.
Okay. They're laughing.
Ha, ha ha.
Laughing at me, I know it.
He's telling her how that remarkably well-preserved Editor-in-Chief
tried to get him in the sack.
God, Marc, I feel like such a fool.
Willie, wouldn't it be easier if you just talked to him? Oh wait! Wait!
He's on the move. Now's your chance. Go! Go! Go, go, go, go!
- Hi, Wilhelmina. - Shut up!
Wait! He's coming back! Abort! Abort! Repeat! Abort!
For God's sakes, Willie, get out of there!
- Wilhelmina, morning. - Top of the morning to you.
"Top of the morning to you"?
I actually said, "Top of the morning," to the man, Marc.
Oh, don't blame yourself. You should hear some of the things
that come out of my mouth when I'm around him.
And why do I even care what he thinks? He's just a man.
A man with the most ruthlessly sharp business mind I've ever seen,
impeccable fashion sense...
Tantalizingly large hands.
Excuse me? Wilhelmina?
- Oh, dear God, is it... Is it time? Marc! - It's not in my calendar.
Relax. It's just the baby kicking.
I'm not due for another couple of months.
That's a relief. So, why are you here?
I've got my seven-month checkup this afternoon.
I just wondered if you might want to make a surprise appearance.
Christina, I've got a lot on my mind at the moment,
and one of the reasons I hired you as my surrogate
was for the fierce independence of the Scottish people.
Your entire country would be insulted if I held your hand at the doctor's office.
- You're our Braveheart. - Our Brave Uterus.
Wilhelmina. One thing I wanted to mention...
Is this a good time?
Connor, it's always a good time to discuss business,
Mode business, Meade business, suit business.
I have a marketing presentation this afternoon at Ralph Lauren.
It'd be great if we could do it together.
Darn it all, I have an important appointment with my surrogate
that I have to attend.
Well, that's obviously much more important.
I'll fill you in when I get back.
Well, you know where to find me, mate!
Good morning, Daniel!
I just want to remind you that there's only a week left
till my Young Editors' Training begins.
Betty, how could I forget?
Oh well, I want you to know that my being a part of YETI
will not interrupt my work here at all.
In fact, I am available for any possible overtime.
Okay, well, I have some good news and some bad news.
The bad news is we're eliminating overtime. Budget cuts.
What? Oh, no, no, no, no! Daniel, I need my overtime.
The good news is we're looking for pitches for modeny. com.
Pitches? As in, like, articles?
Yeah, we're expanding our digital footprint.
We're gonna need lots of new content. You're creative. You'd be perfect.
Yes! Yes, I would! I would be perfect!
And the pay is not that great. Standard freelance fee.
Yeah, whatever. Whatever. Fine. It's fine. I'm fine with that.
Knock, knock. Am I interrupting?
No, we were just finishing up here.
Hi, I'm Molly.
Oh? Hi. You must be Connor's fiancée.
This is Betty, my assistant.
So, we have that pitch meeting at 3:00. You better get cracking. We'll see you.
Nice to meet you.
Hey! What's up?
I'm having lunch with Connor today,
and it seemed like the perfect opportunity
to hit up all the rich jerks he works with.
That didn't come out right.
Since I work at a public school, we're always short of funds.
So, every year I host a charity auction to raise money for school programs.
And you thought you'd hit up Connor's "rich jerk" friends for donations.
It's a column "A," column "B" thing.
You're not a jerk, but you are rich, so you qualify.
- I would love to help. - That's awesome.
Anyhow, it's tonight and Connor can't make it. Work, as usual.
So I was hoping you could step in.
Oh.
You... You want me to go?
Well, yeah. I just thought you were so great with my kids at school,
I thought you'd have fun. Unless... You don't want to go.
- No, no, no! I was just... - I know, it's late notice.
I just thought we'd gotten to be friends...
- No, I'd love to. - Okay.
- I'll see you tonight. - Great.
Okay.
Oh. Hi.
Hello, dear.
There he goes again. Little bugger's a bloody acrobat.
Though sometimes I think I would rather keep him in there
than let Wilhelmina look after him.
You should have seen her this morning. I swear she is going daft.
I bet.
Look! Is that those little crackers? I love these. The little sesame ones.
- Do you mind? - No. Sure.
I haven't eaten since yesterday, but whatever.
What are you talking about?
Money's gotten really tight.
I warned you that that place was too expensive, didn't I?
You just said you'd have to eat ramen.
Which would have worked if Amanda wasn't eating all my ramen,
and she denies it.
She says there's an old crazy man who lives inside my walls
and comes out at night to eat my food.
She calls him Bad Ronald.
I've seen your apartment. She might be right.
I don't know, Christina.
Moving into that building was supposed to like a dream.
My first apartment in Manhattan.
Well, stop fretting! Live your dream. Go. Have a bit of fun! Enjoy yourself!
I would love to, but fun costs money.
Ah, it doesn't have to. See, when I first came to New York,
I didn't have two dimes to rub together, but I didn't care.
There I was, young, free, living in the most exciting city in the world.
Oh, I had a grand old time, me, and it usually didn't cost me a cent.
We really want modeny. com to be different.
We're looking for ideas that are edgy, ahead of the curve.
Mode magazine for the digital age.
Now, the sky's the limit,
which is why I opened up this meeting to the entire staff.
- And Betty has something. - Thank you, Daniel.
As we all know, living in Manhattan can be expensive.
Really? I hadn't noticed.
There's no need to be sarcastic, Wilhelmina.
No, I honestly have never noticed.
Well, it is, for most of us.
So, I've come up with a super fun list of things to do
in New York for no money.
I'm calling it "A Day in Manhattan on Zero Dollars. "
Well, that sounds promising. What have you come up with?
Well, most museums have one day a week where you can go for free,
but the National American Indian Museum is free every day.
Its culturally sensitive and thought-provoking exhibits
include pottery, basketry...
I thought your pitch was how to have fun in the city,
not put yourself into a coma.
It is a little dry, Betty.
Oh?
Right. Okay, well, you can feed the squirrels in Madison Square Park.
Or you could feed my brain a bullet.
Okay, well, maybe Marc and Amanda have better ideas.
For free? Let's see.
Oh, I crashed the red carpet at that Tom Cruise movie.
He is super short,
but the food at the after-party was beyond.
But the average Mode reader doesn't really have access to Tom Cruise.
Oh, no, you would be surprised what you can get away with.
Like what?
Like I haven't paid for a drink or a meal in years.
I have a bar tab of, like, 10 grand.
Now, that's an article for our website.
I love it. "How I Blew 10 Grand Without Actually Spending a Dime. "
Congratulations. You and Amanda just sold the first article to modeny. com.
Ow. My first sale at Mode. That was easy.
You're not going to believe this.
So, we had this huge pitch meeting today,
and they want to use one of my ideas for an article.
Oh, my God! Papi! Pick up the phone! Betty sold a story!
No, no. Sort of. You see, I had this really great idea...
You sold a story? Amazing! What is it about?
Well, it was supposed to be about how to have fun in New York
without spending any money.
Well, you got the "no money" part down.
Yeah, but the problem is that Amanda glommed on,
and now she's got these crazy ideas
about crashing Tom Cruise's premiere...
You're meeting TomKat? You have to get me in!
No, Justin. I'm not meeting TomKat.
Look, the point is Amanda wants to turn my idea
into some wild, crazy night on the town,
spending thousands of dollars of other people's money.
- And that's a problem? - Well, yes!
A, it's not my idea, and, B, she's just being a mooch again.
- Sounds like it might be fun. - Yeah. Aunt Betty, you got to go for it.
Okay, let's grip it and rip it.
I got to go.
Look, if we are going to do this, then there need to be
some ground rules.
One, nothing illegal.
Two, we can only do things that normal Mode readers can do.
Got it. No crimes. Real peeps. Saddle up.
- Hello, Daniel. - Oh, hey.
Hey, which one of these brings out my eyes?
Big plans?
No. I'm just helping Molly out with some charity thing.
Oh?
Molly. Shouldn't Connor be doing that?
He's busy. It's no big deal.
Are you sure? A lot of other people she could have invited instead of you.
- I think she likes you. - No.
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
And if I know my son, it's pretty obvious that you like her, too.
Well, there is something about her that's...
Ow! What the hell, Mom?
She's engaged, Daniel, and not just to any man,
to your friend and a senior financial officer at this company.
There is nothing going on between Molly and me.
- Ow. Stop that! - I am not blind, Daniel, or stupid.
I know a thing or two about infidelity.
Don't go down that road.
Okay. This is a fundraiser, not a date.
There's going to be a lot of other people around, Mom.
And she'll look stunning and the booze will be flowing,
and given your weakness for having sex in public places...
That was only once, and it wasn't a public place, Mom,
until they moved the truck.
Darling, I'm trying to save you from a world of heartache.
A "nothing" moment can turn into something huge.
Just... Just stay away. Write her a big check.
Okay.
Look at the size of the feet on that!
Hey, no wonder it feels like there's a rugby match
- going on down there. Look. - Well, yes, yes. I saw it inside.
You didn't even look.
I can't believe you don't wanna know if it's a girl or a boy.
Call me old-fashioned. I want to be surprised. Yes.
The thunder from down under keeps asking when you'll be back.
- What should I tell him? - I don't care, Marc.
Tell him I'm tied up at the doctor's. Tell him I got hit by a cab.
Just tell me when he goes home.
- What was all that about? - Nothing.
You know, I was thinking, why rush back to the office?
We should talk. Let's go have a drink.
I'm seven months pregnant with your child.
Well, you can watch. I'll drink for all three of us. Come on.
What was that moisturizer again?
Kanebo Sensai. Isn't it heaven?
I'm on the fence. Could I get a few samples?
- Of course. - And the Guerlain lipstick, too,
and the H. Couture.
- How we doing? - Almost $800.
It's a start.
Amanda, I know we're not supposed to be spending any money,
but doesn't this make you feel a little bit guilty
just walking away with all this free stuff?
Betty, it's fine. Don't you ever get free samples of ice cream?
Yeah, but then I buy an ice cream cone.
Oh, of course you do.
- There you go. - Thank you.
Time for some new rags.
Thanks.
What do you think?
Wow. Well, how much is it?
$2,000?
All right, Miss Plan, how we going to pay for this one?
Fun fact. Most stores have a 30-day return policy.
So, you tuck the tag, wear them once, bring them back.
Ah. Amanda! That's illegal!
It's immoral, but mainly, it's illegal, which violates rule number one.
Remember rule number two? Real Mode readers.
Is it fair that only Ivanka Trump gets to wear dresses like this?
No. Shouldn't frumpy girls from Queens get to feel glamorous, too?
Isn't that what this article is all about?
Well, yeah, but...
Oh, my God. Feel this.
- Stop! Stop! Stop! - Just feel it. It's so soft.
- That is soft. - I know. Right?
Wouldn't you love to wear it just once?
Ain't gonna need your gloss, gloss Never gonna need that cash, cash
It's the ride of your life
Every week, The Village Voice lists all the gallery openings in Chelsea.
I always pick the ones with the ugliest art.
- Why? - They have the best booze.
They figure the drunker you are,
the more likely you are to actually buy all this crap.
I actually think this is really neat.
Mmm-mmm.
Okay, now I'm cutting you off.
- Are you hungry? - Yeah, actually I am a little. I...
'Cause I just spotted dinner.
Oh!
- Oh, no, no, no, no. - Tuck your tag.
- What? - Tuck it!
Oh.
Hi. Ciao.
I couldn't help but notice you looking at us. And by us, I mean me.
Were we that obvious? I apologize. Are you enjoying the opening?
Well, I wasn't until I spotted the two best-looking pieces here.
Okay.
And you? What is your favorite piece?
Well, I'm not really an art kind of... I mean, I like that one.
This... What a coincidence.
- I just buy this one. - Really?
We were about to go out and celebrate his bad taste.
Shh!
Would you like to join us?
- No, thank you. - Absolutely.
Would you mind excusing us just for one second?
- Sure, sure. - Yeah, of course.
- Amanda! - Betty, what are you doing?
Are you crazy? We don't even know them.
They're strangers. They could kill us.
Betty, if we're going to write this article, we have to live it,
that means everything, fun, art, fashion, sex.
There isn't going to be any sex.
- Isn't there? - No! There isn't.
Okay, fine. Scratch the sex, but, Betty, I can't do this by myself.
You're the writer. I thought we were in this together, partners.
Ladies?
Okay. Yeah. Let's grip it and rip it.
Don't do that.
Oh.
The sound of clinking ice cubes. It's like a Scottish lullaby.
Well, here's to the bundle of... What's the expression? Joy?
Cut the crap, Wilhelmina.
You haven't even given a second's thought to raising this baby,
other than its stake in the Meade empire.
Oh! That's outrageous. How can you say such a thing?
I don't know. I mean, look at this place. It's not even been baby-proofed.
Dead baby! Dead baby! Dead baby!
Sometimes I wonder if you even want this child or not.
- That's ridiculous. - Is it? Really?
I mean, you weren't even going to come with me today
until Connor asked you to go to that meeting.
And what exactly is going on with you two anyway?
You babbled like an idiot when he walked in.
- I do not babble. - You babbled,
and you've been avoiding him ever since you got back from Key Largo.
Did something happen?
No.
Oh, my God. He didn't!
No, he didn't, unfortunately.
You like him.
So? Is that so strange
that a woman like me wants someone to spend the rest of her life with,
someone to help raise her child, do it right this time?
I finally meet the perfect man, and I can't have him.
I may as well just resign myself to never having a man around.
Well, I wouldn't do that,
'cause you're having a boy.
- Really? - Yes.
Wilhelmina, you are having a little baby boy.
- A boy. - Mmm-hmm.
And then Betty rode her motorcycle into a vat of Jell-O.
I can't believe you didn't see it. It was all over the Internet.
It did get, like, over a million hits.
Wow. Wow.
Mmm.
This champagne tastes so expensive.
Life's too short to drink cheap champagne.
Oh!
That is so true, Claudio, so true.
Did you enjoy your food?
Yes, I did. It was wonderful. Thank you.
Is something wrong?
No. No. Would you excuse me for just a second?
No, no! Don't get up. Please, don't do that. Thank you.
I'm having a crisis.
- What's wrong? What happened? - Well, I'm working on my article,
and I've been drinking the most incredible champagne,
and I can't enjoy it.
All I'm thinking about is how much Claudio and Luka spent on it.
Who are Claudio and Luka?
They're the guys who are buying us dinner.
And the food, Hilda, you wouldn't even believe it.
And I know we're trying to spend $ 10,000, but I just feel so guilty.
Well, are Claudio and Luka having a good time?
Yeah. I think so.
And they're not expecting some sort of, you know, "payment" for dinner?
What? Oh, no! No!
If they are, then they're going to be disappointed.
Well, at least one of them will.
So, these two guys with money take you out to a fabulous dinner,
everybody's having a great time, and you're feeling guilty because...
I don't know.
Betty, you deserve to have fun more than anybody I know.
You spend every dime you make to live in the city, but you don't live in the city.
Trust me. All your problems are going to be there tomorrow,
so will you please go have some fun? Just be careful, okay?
Okay. Okay, I will. Thank you, Hilda.
So, where are Luka and Claudio?
They had to go make some business calls.
- Oh? - I got us another bottle.
They won't mind. They're, like, international financiers or something.
You know, Amanda, I have to admit, when Daniel teamed us up on this,
I was a little upset and a lot skeptical,
but everything's really turned out okay. Thank you.
To spending 10 grand.
And to my roommate. If nothing else, you make my life very interesting.
Of course I do.
The gentlemen said you would take care of this.
Um, what?
Oh, my God. They stuck us with the bill.
They stiffed us.
And I never even saw it coming. They're good.
Oh, my God. Amanda, we can't pay this.
Well, at least we hit our target number. High five!
What are we going to do?
The final option, dine and dash.
No! You can't just walk out on the bill. That's illegal.
- Is it? - Yes.
- Is it really? - Yes! Stop doing that!
All right, I got to think. Got to think. Think, Betty, think.
There's got to be something I can do.
Whenever you're ready.
Oh, excuse me?
Can I talk to your manager?
I got your message. You got a check for me?
Uh, yeah. Uh, right here.
- Is that sweet-and-sour? Can I? - Sure, help yourself.
They feed you these tiny hors d'oeuvres at this thing.
I always end up starved.
So, here you go. I just...
I feel really terrible about canceling on you tonight.
Mmm-hmm.
Honestly.
- Really terrible? - Really terrible.
- Write me a bigger check. - What?
I find a little guilt is always good
for squeezing a little extra cash out of you rich jerks.
- There's a fork here if you need it. - Please. I'm a master with these things.
Damn.
There is no shame in using a fork.
At least you have time to go home and change.
- No, forget it. - Are you kidding?
I'm a kindergarten teacher.
I'm always covered in paint, paste and puke anyway.
- Come on. - What?
Come with me. I'm not letting you go out looking like that.
Is there a problem?
No. Actually, quite the contrary.
I'm Betty Suarez, Mode magazine.
This is my colleague, Amanda Tanen Sommers.
Hi.
We're doing a profile on your restaurant
for our new website, modeny. com.
Really? You work at Mode?
She's in disguise. It helps us keep a low profile.
Anyway, modeny. com is dedicated to celebrating
the most hip, edgy, ahead-of-the-curve things in New York City,
and we'll be featuring you prominently this month.
Why don't I take care of this?
Oh, my God.
I can't believe you pulled that off.
I know! Me, neither! Oh gosh.
We are going to promote the heck out of them in our article.
Whatevs. The point is, you kicked ass, Betty Suarez!
I kind of did. I'm tired. Can we go home?
Yeah. We might as well. We can't top that. Wait. Wait, that's weird.
What?
Nothing. I can't find my wallet. I think those guys stole my wallet.
No! Those jerks! What? Should I call the police?
- There's one more thing. - What?
You know how you hate paying the landlord because he creeps you out?
Uh-huh.
And this morning, I felt bad because I didn't have my half.
So, I thought I would just do you a favor and drop it off.
- What are you saying? - And then Daniel gave this assignment,
- and I never had time to... - Amanda.
The rent was in my purse, and it's gone.
No. No, no. It's got to be in there. Check again.
Oh, my God. It's not in there. Oh, my God.
That was everything I had.
Well, we'll just go to an ATM.
No, you don't understand. That was all I had. That was everything.
I can't pay my rent this month.
We'll pay the rent next month. What are they gonna do, kick us out?
Yes. Yes, Amanda.
That's what happens when you don't pay the rent.
What planet do you live on? I knew this was a bad idea.
Wait, this wasn't all my idea, partner.
It's not just tonight, Amanda. It's everything.
You really don't take responsibility for anything, do you?
Not when you run up my bills
or let your dog pee on my clothes or eat all my food.
- That was Bad Ronald. - There is no Bad Ronald!
It's you! Bad Amanda!
Wait, Betty.
Now I'm going to lose my apartment. I'm going to be homeless.
You'll always have a home here.
I know. I just...
I don't know how I let myself get sucked
into Amanda's black hole of irresponsibility. So stupid.
Don't be so hard on yourself or her.
She didn't mean for the money to be stolen.
Of course she didn't mean for the money to get stolen.
It's just typical Amanda.
She doesn't care about anything,
'cause she's never had to work hard for anything.
She thinks life is one big night on the town.
But it's not. Life is hard.
Betty, your mother and I worked very hard to raise you
to be responsible.
Sometimes I think we did too good a job.
What do you mean?
Sweetie, I know you're angry at Amanda,
but I think there's something that you can learn from her.
Let me make you something to go.
I was thinking about naming him Abelard.
Oh, my God, I hope you're joking.
Well, what would you suggest?
- I've always been quite fond of Hamish. - Lovely. Why not Angus?
Nothing wrong with Angus.
I had a lovely tussle in the hay with an Angus once.
I'm having a son.
Sorry I spilled the beans. I know you wanted to be surprised.
That's not it. It's... I just didn't want to know.
It's easier to think of him as an "it"
than as a little boy or girl whose life I can screw up,
like I did my daughter's.
Well, hey, you've been given another chance.
Just don't do anything stupid like naming him Abelard.
Daniel. A size six?
All right. All right, not a problem.
Well, just look on the rack on the right.
Okay? Bye.
What was that about?
Uh, Daniel just wanted to get into the Closet.
- Well, Daniel is not a size six. - No, he's not.
Had to get a dress for Connor's fiancée, Molly.
She's going to some charity do.
- And Daniel is helping her? - I guess so.
Interesting.
- Take your pick. - Seriously?
- What are you, my fairy godmother? - No. Just the boss.
Oh, my God.
What do you think?
I think you have good taste.
Turn around.
Just don't let the paparazzi take photos of you in that dress.
That's supposed to be our March cover.
Do I even want to know how much this thing costs?
Depends. You planning on using chopsticks tonight?
Forget I asked.
Okay.
What do you think?
Uh, that works.
It's not too much? I don't usually wear things like this.
No, it's... It's amazing.
- Oh! Can you... - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I need to go.
Thank you for the dress.
What if the restaurant manager hadn't comped your meal?
Then I guess she would've realized I was trying to pay
with my Queens College student ID.
It's great, Betty. It's exactly the kind of piece we need for the website.
Really?
People are going to eat that up.
It's so much more than just a list of things to do.
It's got a moral. It goes a lot deeper. You guys seem like you had a blast.
We did. We did, in a sleazy, scammy sort of way.
I guess I have Amanda to thank for that.
So, I guess you wouldn't mind working with her again.
Oh. Um, I don't know about that.
Because I've got to tell you, this story is going to make
an excellent regular feature on our website.
- Seriously? - Sure. Think about it.
You and Amanda out on the town every week,
having some new kind of crazy adventure.
I mean, you have a great dynamic.
The budget's pretty tight, but I could probably float you an advance
if it sweetens the deal and helps pay your rent.
It would. It would! Oh, God. Thank you, Daniel.
You know, you should have fun. Just make sure to stay out of trouble.
Got it.
On second thought, I guess a little trouble's not too bad, huh?
Where's Amanda?
I don't know. She left early. I'm just covering the phones.
Oh.
- Amanda! - Got to go, Betty!
- Amanda! I have to talk to you. - Sorry, I have no time.
- What? - Oh, my God.
- Why are you in such a rush? - Let go! Let go!
No! Give it back!
What are you wearing?
Don't look at me! I'm a freak!
Amanda, you got a second job?
Betty, last night wasn't all your fault.
Well, it was a little bit your fault,
but it was mostly my fault. I don't know.
I would say it was more like 70-40 me.
The thing is, you're right.
I should care more about what's important to you,
like paying my half of the rent.
I got to go.
I had fun.
- What? - Last night, I had fun.
I've been working so hard to pay for my fabulous single life
in Manhattan,
I haven't really lived it,
until you forced me to go out last night and have fun.
And I did. So thank you.
Sure. I had fun, too.
So, that happened.
By the way, Daniel loved our article,
so there's a little extra cash in it,
and we're not going to lose our apartment.
- So I can quit my job in clown hell? - No.
You do not want to know what I had to do to get this.
Okay, I'll tell you!
- No. No. - But I had a really good quip.
Damn. I was hoping for some skin, you know, from Daniel.
No, this is better than I could ever have imagined.
But you don't even have them doing the nasty.
No. Stop it. Freeze.
You see the way Daniel's looking at her?
The way Betty looks at a cheeseburger.
I've been looking for the wedge to drive
between Connor and that sweet little schoolmarm,
and Daniel has just given it to me. He's falling in love with her,
and I'm back in the game.
What's all this business?
Well, I figured after a long day of hard work,
you might be tired and a little hungry.
Oh, also...
A gift? For me?
You know, 'cause yours got stolen
and you need somewhere to keep your rent money.
Betty, this is Prada.
Actually, it's Plada.
Thank you.
- Can we eat? - Yes.
- How was work? - Well, it was terrible.